How to be a Real Gentleman for Dummies
Gentleman is a concept that was born in the United Kingdom during the Victorian era (1837-1901). At that time—a gentleman—Was the definition of a man with a calm temperament showing proof of stoicism, courtesy, and good manners. In other words, it was someone with an open mind and good education.
Like music, this concept has transcended eras and lost its authenticity over time. Young men of today are—mostly, more concerned with popularity, appearance, big muscles, tanning, big cars, and money—and turn out to be careless about class and respect.
However, there are still a few gentlemen remaining—and you can surely be one too. Plus, you don't need to get all ''flashy'' or to have a lot of money to do so. A modern gentleman—unlike a man—is not only concerned by his bank account and his appearance. But also adheres to stoicism, courtesy, and good manners. Values that are rare nowadays. In addition, the modern gentleman is not seeking popularity. The true gentleman is normally rather quiet and discreet. People love him, for what he is—not for what he has.
Backed against the wall facing this mass extinction, we've compiled for you ten rules to follow—in order to be a real respectable gentleman. From how you should act in public, to how you should treat others or how to dress—the next few lines will provide you a brief education on how to become a modern gentleman. —With the hope of saving an endangered species.
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1. Adopt Good Manners
The first rule of our compilation is certainly one of the most important for the modern gentleman. At first, adopting good manners in public is a broad rule—that everyone knows. But obviously, is rarely applied. This one implies that a true gentleman should always show proof of respect,by removing his hat when entering a room for example. When sitting at a table, —the gentleman should always wait for every people sitting around the table to be served—before starting to eat his plate. The ''Cheers'' is also a must for the gentleman. Moreover, a gentleman knows that he has no need to profane in a conversation—since it indicates a lack of vocabulary. In others words. the gentleman is humble and knows to admit his ignorance facing a subject rather than talking through his hat. When a gentleman is sitting and is introduced to someone—as proof of respect—he should always stand up, look the person in the eyes, and firmly shake hands.
2. Always Pay the Bill
Although the fact that—today's women are in an independence crisis and want more than ever to pay their own bill—the modern gentleman should always take control and pay the bill. The Alpha gentleman would never agree to let his sweetheart take her money out of her purse to pay the bill, regardless of who invited who. In a context where the woman would be really uncomfortable facing this practice—the gentleman would reassure her by showing his respect for the women equality and present this practice as a sign of appreciation.
3. Always be Well Groomed
As you will see below, it is important for a gentleman to be well dressed—but it is also very important to always be well groomed. Thus said, your appearance should always match your clothing style. As Napoleon Hill said so well—''Always leave the house at your very best, as if you were to meet the woman of your life for the first time.'' Just like clothing styles, gentlemen facial hair styles and hairstyles are constantly changing. Although, the "handlebar" mustache style is iconic for the gentlemen. We're starting to notice a new trend among modern gentlemen. Some of them now sport a beautiful thick beard. Thus said, a big beard requires a daily grooming with suitable products—Beard balm, Beard oil, Beard cleaner, etc.—in order to appear well presented. As a gentleman, no matter if you have a simple "stache" or a nice thick beard—they should always be presented at their best. Moreover, modern gentlemen are aware of the importance of a nice, neat and healthy skin. To achieve that, they typically use a full range of skin care products. Finally, the gentleman pays special attention to his nails and scent.
4. Treat Her and Love Her, as if there was no Tomorrow
In a modern context—where ''fuck boys" outnumber real men's and where ''boys'' outnumber gentlemen—women are more than ever in search of the charming Prince. This charming Prince is what we like to recall as a gentleman. The gentleman—regardless of his age—loves to satisfy his women as if there was no tomorrow. He gives her flowers on Monday and this, no matter if it is a particular day or not. From a gentleman glance, every day spent with his sweetheart is a particular day. When he takes his woman out for a car ride—the gentleman always opens the door for her. At the restaurant—for example—the gentleman escort his woman to the table and pulls her chair for her so, she can sit. When the time to order meals comes, the gentleman always leaves her order first. ''Why?'' Will you ask—simply to match his choice with her. In other words, if she orders a meal with two services, you will also have to order a two services meal. Otherwise, it would be quite unpleasant for her to watch you eat your five services meal while she's waiting. Finally, the vital role of a true gentleman is to make his woman laugh and make sure she's happy.
5. Always be Well Dressed
As you've probably noticed, gentlemen are always dressed with class and can easily be distinguished from men. In fact, although appearance should never be judged—it nevertheless reflects the person you are and gives clues about your personality. In other words, your clothes are like a billboard of yourself. The true modern gentleman does his shopping in a tailor. He normally chooses a stylish tailor-made suit with one or two buttons, that reflects his unique and authentic character. The shoulders of a suit should always have a natural look. They shouldn't be too padded since it gives a cheap character to the suit and gives the impression that the suit is wearing you rather than the contrary. When you wear a suit with two buttons or more, the bottom button should never be buttoned. Finally, when you sit down—you should always unbutton and open your suit jacket.
6. Listen More, Talk Less
Human beings are designed with one mouth and two ears. That being said, a gentleman should listen twice as he speaks. A good listening brings its own set of wealth and is a sign of respect. You can learn a lot and take advantage of a person simply by listening. For example—by listening to your wife—you'll avoid the stress caused by the holidays and you'll know to find thoughtful and original gifts ideas. Finally, remember to never interrupt a speaker. This is frowned upon and is very disrespectful. Let others say what they have to say and if you have something to add—wait until that person has finished talking.
7. Always Leave a Good Tip
The tipping concept made a lot of ink flow. As you probably know, employees who get tipped often have a fixed salary below the minimum wage. Therefore, the tip we give them is somehow their income. The tipping percentage that should be given isn't official and often vary depending on the service received. Nevertheless—for a gentleman—a tip is important and is not optional. It should always be paid, even if the service received was bad. For your general knowledge, here's a list of the percentage you should leave according to the service:
- Waiter/Waitress: In general, a waiter or waitress in a restaurant should always receive a minimum tip of 15% of your bill excluding taxes. If the service is excellent, you can tip them 20% and more.
- Sommelier: Generally, a wine steward should receive a tip of 15% of the price of the wine bottle chosen.
- Barman/Barmaid: Typically, a bartender should receive a tip between 15% and 20% of the bill plus a minimum of $ 0.50 per soda and $ 1 per drink.
- Coatroom Attendant: In a bar, there is always an attendant in the coatroom. Typically, this one should receive a minimum tip of $ 1 per coat.
- Parking Valet: In general, a parking valet should always receive a minimum tip of $ 2 for taking your car and a tip of $ 2 for bringing back your car.
- Washroom Attendant: Generally, a washroom attendant should receive a tip of $ 0.50 to $ 1 for the service offered.
- Barber/Hairdresser: Generally, a barber or a hairdresser should receive a tip of 15% to 20% of the bill amount plus $ 1 for the haircut. In addition, this one should receive a tip of $ 1 to $ 2 for each additional service obtained (hair washing, beard shaving, beard trimming, etc ...)
Finally, remember that there is no harm in spreading his wealth and a person who offers a service that meets our expectations should be rewarded accordingly. As a gentleman don't be afraid to be generous when you are satisfied with the service received.
8. Always be Punctual
When a gentleman has an appointment—he must be punctual. In other words, a gentleman is never late and never make wait anyone. To do this, take the available resources you have to help you be on time. Set alarms on your phone if needed and try to plan your moves in advance to be always on time. Keep in mind that a female conquest has probably already been dealing with a non-punctual man and that you don't want to be placed in the same class as him. If ever a serious unforeseen is holding you, make sure to call and let them know.
9. Always be Direct and Honest
A gentleman knows that time is precious and has neither time or effort to devote in lies. Besides being immature—a liar needs to remember all his lies—which requires a lot of energy. The gentleman is meanwhile always direct and truthful. Which gives him an easy life and enable him to remember everything, without being disrespectful and wasting other people times. Keep in mind that if you are not lying, it will be much easier to remember everything.
10. Be Responsible on Social Networks
Since social networks came along, many people like to share their private lives with the public. Whether a comic video posted on twitter, the wild nights exposed on Instagram, to the photos of your Beach Club conquests posted on Facebook—you can put everything on social networks. Unfortunately, this widespread phenomenon allows people that you may even never met to judge you. To avoid these unnecessaries judgments, the modern gentleman pays particular attention to the content that he publishes on social networks—and also to the text messages, Snapchats, and emails that he sends. Finally, a gentleman should never publish, like, or share—offensive, rude, or nasty post on social networks. As your clothes, social networks act as a showcase of your person and your personality.
